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Bonjour à toutes et à tous!
Here comes issue six of our newsletter. We dedicate ourselves to a topic of beautiful importance that touches us all - especially since Corona, but actually since time immemorial: closeness. This newsletter is about closeness and why we need it. We have managed to navigate around Corona for the last four editions, but as we can easily see, it will be difficult to get past it in this lettre. These are extraordinary times, and we believe that closeness now helps us to deal with them better. So step a little closer, get right up close to the action until your nose sticks to the screen, let's look at things up close, enjoy being close to people who are important to us. Welcome to this edition of our newsletter. Once again a round of ideas and music ping-pong with Felix & Jan.
The music recommendations of this issue can be found as usual on this playlist. We've really put our foot down and offer a lot of music - an opportunity to dance, relax and be amazed. There's a lot of pop, but it's just getting a bit old. All previous issues can be found on our website and here. There you can also sign up for this newsletter in no time at all if you still have friends who haven't been able to enjoy it. We would also like to take this opportunity to advertise our playlist with the funny subtitle "mostly without socks", which was already created in 2017 but received a small rework in 2020.
We are writing this newsletter from Paris and Berlin at the beginning of November 2020, we are doing well, but honestly, we find this time very challenging. We think a lot about how to go on now, when we cannot even really plan Christmas and the time between the years - actually a time of closeness, a time for rest, family and friends. All that time in front of the screens, zoom till you drop (there's a term called zoom fatigue because it makes you tired), and the tense news situation full of terror, corona and an eternally dominant US election probably stress us all and the fact that it's getting dark earlier and earlier now certainly doesn't make it any easier. So today we would like to try to stay in touch despite less contact and seek closeness despite the distance.
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Music N°1
An opportunity for a (close) dance with Gwen McCrae, Grace Jones, Ronnie Dyson, Chemise and Alex Rossi
I would like to give a small preview of the great kollektiv inidvidualismus parties we will be throwing after the pandemic. Let's concentrate on a few sophisticated dancefloor goodies and start with the hot track Keep the Fire Burning. We continue with Godness Grace Jones, who was not only Disco Queen, but also a style icon, bond girl and provocateur with quite a unique style. This is followed by Ronnie Dyson with his driving track It's All Over Your Face, Chemise (for Mara and Pippa) and finally Alex Rossi's italo-disco hit.
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NEW: Our music recommendations can always be found under the corresponding text as a multi-platform link. This means you can click on the streaming service of your choice or purchase the music. If you want to go directly to Spotify, simply use our playlist for the newsletter, which is linked in every edition.
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Focus.
Closeness - what is that actually? Closeness has many facets. First of all, probably simply the opposite of distance. You can imagine it quite physically. We keep a certain distance to strangers out of skepticism or out of respect. We hug or kiss our partners, friends and family. We are usually particularly close to them. You don't always see this outside of the private sphere, but more about this later. Probably the mental closeness of people is just as relevant or perhaps even more important than physical closeness. A complex interplay. And it probably varies from person to person. After all, proximity is something very personal, something that expresses itself in touch and communication, in contact and affection. A hug, smooching in the park, a good phone call, an intense gaze, a long-standing friendship, a simple gift, attention - that is all closeness.
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The need for contact and affection unites us all - especially now in the dark season and the second corona wave. Usually, closeness is something wonderful. But sometimes we also shy away from it, because it is a form of knowledge about the other, which many avoid. But beautiful relationships are good for us. Meaningful relationships are a rich ingredient for a good life. We are sure that closeness helps us to find stability even in difficult situations. Closeness can keep us mentally and physically healthy. That is why we demand the courage to be close in times of distance.
During Corona, closeness has become dangerous, we haven't hugged many friends for months, also the two of us haven't had a chance to do so since August. Even the handshake, actually a form of appropriate distance or closeness between people, is undesirable. We should keep our distance everywhere. We should be careful not to forget closeness, what it means to be close, and how beautiful it is. Until then, it means digital closeness, closeness to oneself, closeness to a small infection community, and closeness to good music, maybe?
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Music N°2
Wonderful Jazz- Rock von Charles Llyod & The Marvels - Vanished Gardens
Music of closeness, drawing from the sum of experiences and shared emotions - this is the collaboration of jazz saxophonist Charles Llyod, the band The Marvels and Lucinda Williams. During the opening ballad "Defiant", 80-year-old Lloyd creates a thought-provoking atmosphere right from the start. As the album progresses, he, together with the band around star guitarist Bill Frisell, manages to break down genre boundaries and reinterpret a wide variety of music from Lucinda Williams (Unsuffer Me) to Thelonius Monk (Monk's Mood) and Jimi Hendrix (Angel). I especially like Defiant, Vanished Gardens, Monk's Mood and Blues For Langston And LaRue. Originally the album was recommended to me by my dad. Have fun.
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Dialectic of closeness in the digital.
On the one hand, digital space makes closeness possible where it would otherwise not be possible, on the other hand, one can ask whether it can keep up qualitatively with real proximity and even whether it does not stand in the way of real closeness.
In the digital space, we are apparently constantly close to each other. In the world of our smartphones, distances are replaced by clicks and it usually takes less to connect with our loved ones (P.S. Thank you for clicking on this newsletter). In the physical space of reality, we often have to travel miles to be close to each other. We have to cross space and time. The digital world now eliminates this physical space in its definition of proximity. Consequently, in the digital world proximity must be different. Or are we not so close in the digital world after all? It seems quite plausible that there is only simulated closeness, and this can quickly be at the expense of real closeness. No space, no proximity? One thing is certain, both types of proximity, the physical and the digital, have their own stories to tell.
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Is this also closeness?
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Realizing, that the Instagram story is not the same as the lunch we have together may not be particularly surprising, but as our physical relationships become increasingly digitalized we sometimes lose sight of this. We don't want to deny the importance of digital exchange, but the quality is certainly different in comparison. We notice this again and again when we pay a visit to old friends or are allowed to be hosts ourselves. Of course, it's a pleasure to pick up the mobile phone and see how everyone gets through life, but a glass of red wine is no substitute for a glass of wine together.
What, if not this year, could make us more aware of the differences between these two spheres? On the one hand, we are forced to shift our contacts more and more into the digital realm. On the other hand, we are closer than ever to those who surround us directly, longer and more intensely than ever before. We form closed lockdown societies. For many weeks we have only known the respective extremes and it looks as if we will have to prepare ourselves for a repetition of this. It may be difficult to find the same magic in digital proximity as in physical closeness. And yet, in these crazy times, being closer to our friends, at least in the digital world, can give us an incredible amount. That is a very forgiving insight.
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Why Millenials have less sex.
Through Tinder, Grinder and others, we seem to find it easier and easier to get to know each other in one way or another - for example, a sex partner. Unfortunately, there are good or terrible indications that sex among young people is not becoming more, but less - internationally. We Millenials have less and less sex. Why is this so?
One could, of course, put forward many theories. One possible answer would be that we have become more enlightened and therefore more demanding. Another answer can be found in the massive offer of digital proximity (simulation?). Let's stick to the example for a moment. A strong internet sex offer is perhaps often used to satisfy needs that otherwise cannot be satisfied. This need not be negative in itself, it can also have a stabilizing effect. But it can also lead to avoiding trying something in real relationships, let alone building them up seriously, negotiating something, being in real contact with each other, feeling the real closeness and benefiting from it. This applies to online dating, porn consumption, solo sex, single record numbers, and much more.
We claim that (physical) closeness, being human and sexuality are difficult or impossible to digitalize. This means that we cannot avoid dealing with and investing in real proximity. It is not about demonizing the digital revolution, but we should shape it and this also means the conditions of our analog life, some of which we hope will be preserved. These include nature (keyword planetary boundaries), but also human nature, i.e. the human body and encounters between two bodies. To feel each other, to experience each other, to be close. Being present in a situation. Experiencing, giving and receiving relationships, experiencing being in the world - undisguised by digital filters.
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The digital world means a lot of freedom and at the same time: new constraints, new temptations. We should be so sovereign and decide: What do I want to use it for and what not? What brings me as a human being and what brings me forward in my (sexual) relationships? For this, we may have to limit ourselves in order to better perceive the quality of closeness. Because if closeness is no longer possible because we focus on immediate need satisfaction and certain egocentricity (both features of digital capitalism), something goes very wrong.
The second wave of Corona certainly offers a good opportunity to think about closeness in love, friendship, and family and maybe also how closeness changes with time. And for those who want to go deeper into the so-called sex recession, we recommend this article by The Atlantic.
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Music N°3
Intro to the best of frensh chanson with Barbara, Francoise Hardy, France Gall, Michel Berger and William Sheller
Anyone who appreciates the cinema of Francois Ozon, Wes Anderson or Bernardo Bertolucci already knows it very well: Françoise Hardy has influenced several generations and inspired great artists. Over the years, the idol of the 1960s has become a true icon in France and around the world. With Message Personnel, produced by Michel Berger and Serge Gainsbourg - two important names in chanson she opens our little intro here. Barbara is without doubt une des grandes dames de la chanson francaise. We do not recommend her contribution to the German-French friendship (Göttingen) here, but La solitude, Ce Matin Là and Le soleil noir. Also in the programme: Un homme heureux by William Sheller, Quelques mots d'amour by Michel Berger, and the declaration of love La déclaration d'amour by France Gall. From there, you can go endlessly far in chanson. Enjoy the beautiful french kitsch!
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Kissing in public.
Julia Kopatzki has written an article about a phenomenon that has brought us to the topic of closeness. Meanwhile, it has disappeared behind the paywall, but here we reveal a little about what she writes. Using her own experiences, she describes how uncomfortable closeness and intimacy are for us as a society and asks at what point did publicly shown affection becomes a confession of shame? Two people kiss each other in public and everyone looks away in an effort. Instead of rejoicing over the affection, when most people know how wonderful a kiss is. When the kiss turns into a kiss, the saying "Get a room!" is often heard. What does that say about us when we react so strongly to closeness, why do some people seem to find it hard to stand it?
Yes, it's funny: we seem addicted to visual images of the world. Look at the success of Instagram, TikTok and other platforms. There we can learn more about the life of any stranger than we know about that of our own friends. Big Brother goes into its 150th season and "Porn shows every imaginable and unimaginable sex practice", as Kopatzki writes. Here we see again what we have described before. Everything is possible in the digital world, but kissing in real life? Difficult.
But there are good reasons for the visibility of closeness in public as well because it strengthens relationships of all kinds. Showing closeness means that you commit yourself to a person and that makes for healthy relationships - a large number of which are certainly beneficial to the common good. When I see happy people, I rejoice with them instead of just thinking about my own situation. The author writes very beautifully:
"I kiss my boyfriend more often now. Even more often. Before my friends, before strangers. I try not to laugh when we kiss like teenagers for three train stations, because yes, I'm still a little embarrassed. But then I remember again that it's much more embarrassing to be ashamed of closeness. I want others to kiss more, too. Out of love or lust or just because they can."
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Music N°4
D'Angelo - Betray My Heart (Live from Spotify NYC)
This man is a big deal. And Betray My Heart is a bundle of energy that you should listen to. We've already written about his political sensibilities once in the soundtrack of the week, now we just want to let the music speak for itself. Listen to Betray My Heart and if you like the RnB continue with Feel Like Makin' Love or our SdW# 67 Till It's Done (Tutu).
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Are video conferences the end of real proximity?
As people spent more time at home and real contacts became less, the virtual took over. And that without warning or instruction. That might be helpful: normally people try to find the right balance between distance and closeness. On Zoom this is difficult because with video conferences everything is both close and distant at the same time. What we also lack: eye contact - an essential element of closeness.
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When will we be able to sit outside together again without worrying? Paris, 2018.
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Close to the newsletter.
Of course, we ask ourselves after each edition what you think about it. That's why we'd like to invite you to simply take the initiative and send us a few brief thoughts.
How is it going with zoom? What is missing in particular? What are your perspectives on closeness - also very topical and very personal? Why do you think that millennials have less sex? Can digital proximity partially replace proximity? What offers reason for hope? What are you worried about? We are looking forward and will get back to you.
Up Close & Personal
Best
Felix & Jan
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Music N°5
Dusty Springfield - Just A Little Lovin'
You probably know Son of a Preacher Man (from Pulp Fiction?) by Britain's greatest pop diva Dusty Springfield, but the 1969 album opens with another cool track, which we'd like to share here at the end. Thanks, Mara for the recommendation.
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Il fine.
This was our sixth newsletter. We hope you enjoyed it. We welcome feedback, possible recommendations and also new subscriptions. In fact, no one else will know about this newsletter, as we do not advertise. So it remains only your recommendation. Newsletters still have something of spam, advertising, coercion. Unfortunately, because we do not want to have anything to do with that. In the first issue, we wrote why we think the medium email is so great. You can read it here. Please feel free to send us answers and feedback! The email to the lettre is called: newsletter@kollektivindividualismus.de. And you can still visit, hang out and marvel at our website on the Internet.
And as always: stay tuned.
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